Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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