it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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