he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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