she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
