If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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