Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
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Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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