am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
