Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Let's get the cat blown out
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