Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
