Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
