But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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