the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
