it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
