Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
