Nicole vs. Life
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
