just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
