Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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