How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
