My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
