I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
