East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize