i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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