So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
