in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
