I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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