You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
