it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
