this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
