Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
