who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Banned from zoo.
Again?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize