we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
