i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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