She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
