he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
