i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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