I got her a Nickelback box set.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
