I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
