I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
