I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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