I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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