WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
