VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
