Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
