im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
