I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
