Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
