so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize