Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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