Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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