Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize