why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
