How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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