yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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