we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
