i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
