It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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