i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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