Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
