Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This is classic penis vs brain.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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