one two three fourrrrnication!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize