Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
