just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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