I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
