Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize