Pregnant stripper...not hot.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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