the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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