Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
