Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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