I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You took a bar mat shot.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
